Trending Attitudes Of Human Beings In Life Management Skills

  Trending Attitudes Of Human Beings In Life Management Skills

Our attitude is Which influences all of our actions. This is only the right attitude, which gets us good results. All the smiles and hand-shakes are not going to get you far, if we do not have the attitude to help others, without any selfish expectations in return. If we expect something in return, then it does not help, it is only a favor, and we are only interested in our own selfish desires.

Truly said that Opportunity ‘knocks’ at every door. If we utilize it, it leads to success. Otherwise, we just complain about the ‘noise’.  Each and every problem that we face is nothing but an opportunity, to succeed, by learning how to conquer it. The better we get at problem-solving, the more successful we are.

We understood The theory is only fully by solving problems. One cannot succeed in life with mere theories; it is only the application of theory, in overcoming problems, that brings the desired results.

Proactive to be a ‘positive’ person, a problem is not only a temporary set-back but also a stepping stone to success. To be a ‘negative’ thinker, every problem only confirms his pessimistic view, that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. So every problem becomes a stumbling block, with the inevitable result, that we soon stop progressing. Our Human nature has inertia, i.e. it resists any change. We like to keep within our ‘comfort zone’, even to the extent of not trying to change a bad habit, that we are only too well aware of. However, we should one desire to improve, there is non-stopping us, on our path to success.

 Some common what Dos and Don’ts :

• 1. Always Accept Responsibilities. Whether in our job or elsewhere, avoid ‘Passing the Buck’. By accepting any responsibility, we are actually promoting ourselves. Accept the responsibility, even for something we have done wrong, and try to analyze and rectify it, instead of trying to shrug off the blame. Avoid statements like ‘This place is hopeless’ or ‘This is not our fault’.

• 2. Always Create the Right Attitude. Everyone in our team must benefit so that the whole group gains. Everyone stands to gain, as we reap more benefits from the combined efforts than from just trying to be a ‘loner’. This is called having a Team Spirit. Many people have a Win-Lose attitude. We feel that it is right to gain something extra, even at the expense of everyone else in their group, who must ‘lose’. This leads to a Lose-Lose situation, where everyone in the team ends up with some loss.

• 3.Having consideration for the other people and we will receive the same consideration, from others, in return. Give others the same treatment, that we would like to receive from them. Always Be tactful and  Avoid unnecessarily hurting any person’s sentiments, by undue harshness. Some people brag about being ‘brutally honest’. They take more pleasure in the brutality than in honesty. We can be sure, that the recipient of our ‘brutality’ will leave no stone unturned, in returning you the same treatment (with interest).

• 4.Always try to Avoid criticism, especially in public. It is very easy to criticize, but difficult to undo the damage due to negative criticism.  Negative criticism almost always has the effect of making the person justify his wrong action, rather than to remedy the situation. Make the person aware of his draw-backs indirectly, so that he will himself ‘correct’ the fault. Correcting a fault is the desired outcome; not ‘hanging’ the person for his alleged ‘crime’. Although a person doing a ‘wrong’ action needs to be corrected, it is the action that is ‘wrong’, not the person.

• 5. Always Be positive in your interpretation of another person’s actions. Don’t get paranoid and expect the worst. It is always better to give a person the benefit of the doubt. Even in a court of law, nobody has declared a criminal until proved. Unfounded suspicions are worse than hanging a person.

• 6. Always Be an Empathic listener. Seek to understand, what the other person is trying to communicate, with an open mind. Do not try to dominate his talk, or judge him with our own myopic or prejudiced views of the situation.

• 7. Always Be enthusiastic in whatever you do. Enthusiasm is ‘infectious’ i.e. it fires up the whole team to perform better. The only difference between the successful team and any other team is that little bit of extra effort, which is possible only if there is an enthusiastic approach.

• 8. Always Give honesty and sincere appreciation, whenever a person deserves this. This is not to be confused with flattery, which shows up the lack of character of the Flatterer. Anyway, Flatterer almost always has an ulterior motive behind his flattery, which is usually only to his own benefit. However, other things being equal, it is far better to suffer a Flatterer, than to be stuck with an ungrateful person, who does not ever appreciate anything, much less ever praise anyone. An ungrateful person displays a total lack of any leadership qualities.

• 9. Every moment someone points out any of our mistakes, it is better to accept it graciously, instead of launching our own diversionary tactics to shift the blame elsewhere, or deny something totally. However, we must take care not to repeat the same mistake again. To make a mistake once is human; to repeat it many times, is sheer carelessness and not pardonable. Accept the mistakes of another, without humiliating him publicly, and rejoice in the success of his efforts to correct it. Congratulate the person when he corrects the mistake, with the same constancy, as when we pointed out his mistake. we must always be fair in our dealings.

• 10. Do not be and Never get unnecessarily involved in Arguments. They achieve nothing. Neither side knows the facts. If they did, why would they argue? Nor are the arguers interested in knowing any facts. To an Arguer, who is right is more important, than what is right. An argument is an emotional affair. When viewed logically, it is a complete waste of time, as there are no tangible benefits. Neither side is open to the point of view of the other. There is nothing to be learned from it either, as neither side is working systematically. The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it or decline to participate. Arguments leave us frustrated and emotionally charged, without achieving any objective, of putting up our point-of-view.

• 11.Accordingly In order to learn anything new, we need an exchange of ideas. This can only be done with a Discussion, a give-and-take of information and ideas.  Discussions can often lead to arguments if there is more than one dominating personality involved. An argument is basically a clash of egos, whereas a discussion remains an exchange of ideas. Nobody is trying to promote himself here. As a result, everyone who participates in a discussion has something to gain from it.

• 12.Always Avoid gossip. This will spreads Lies with amazing speed and can result in irreparable harm to the person concerned. we, ourselves, may well be the next victim of gossip. When we betray the trust of someone’s confidential information, we will lose his respect forever. Gossip is the work of idle minds. They never have the honesty or the guts to come out in the open, with any accusation and give the person a fair chance to prove or disprove anything. It is unnecessary and cowardly victimization of a person.

• 13.  Never do just vaguely promise something. When we make it a Commitment, we plan to do what we say, viz. we demonstrate our Integrity. A Commitment is usually influenced by values, and not so much by a person or object. We may make a commitment to support someone, because of his perceived ideology. we are, however, free to drop our support, if anyone is found to be corrupt or otherwise unworthy. Integrity is to really do, what you say. Never preach to others, what we cannot follow ourselves. A marriage, without a commitment from both sides, is ineffective, because the basic insecurity it generates, will impair its efficient functioning.

• 14. Always be grateful for all that we are enjoying. Be grateful to anyone who does something for you. But don’t expect gratitude, for everything that we do.  Selfless service is what actually satisfies, not the gratitude of the person being helped. If you expect some return then that is business, not social service. Donate our time, and not just money, to the service of another, if we really care for the person. The sacrifice may involve not just our time, but also effort and involvement, the extent of which determines the depth of our love to the people we claim to care for.

• 15. Always be dependable and loyal, to ensure that people reciprocate with the same intensity. One dependable partner is worth more than a whole team of insincere ‘experts’.

• 16.Never  hold the Grudges for anyone’s past mistakes. They aren’t worth holding! Forgive the person, but learn from the experience. If once we get cheated, it is shame on the Cheater. If we should get cheated again, by the same person, it is also a shame on we, for allowing ourself to be cheated. Honesty is the best policy. A Liar invariably gets tripped up by his own lies.

• 17.The sincerity of purpose is an admirable quality. Any person will forgive a mistake easily if he knows that there was sincerity of purpose. Humility is the ability to accept praise graciously, with a simple Thank you. This should be without either arrogance or without belittling yourself, either of which extreme is bad. Arrogance is a sign of over-confidence while being unnecessarily servile indicates someone trying to hide something.
• 18. Be Courtesy. This is something which many people are unwilling to grant others but always expect from everyone else. It costs nothing to be polite, but the effect it has, on bringing down barriers of hostility, is remarkable. Approaching a person with courtesy often opens doors; just as a rude or arrogant approach blocks your path, with equal efficiency.
• • 19.Always try to maintain our sense of humor. The ability, to look on the lighter side of things, is what keeps us going, in times of stress. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown. The ‘too serious’ person, who has no time to smile, generates ill-will among his team, which affects the long term performance considerably.
  • 20. If Immature people enjoy putting down their juniors (or people under their control) sarcastically, in the misguided impression that they are cracking a joke. we should laugh with someone, never at someone, because the ill will that we create, in the mind of our ‘victim’, will eventually lead to our own downfall. One extra enemy we unnecessarily create can neutralize the work of a hundred friends. People may laugh at our ‘so-called’ joke at that time, but carry away a very poor impression of us, as a person. If he is joking about that person today, he may well do so about we tomorrow.
  • 21.Always be a true friend, in order to be a good friend. If we value our friendship and care for the person, it is better to be truthful, even if it seems distasteful at that time, than to risk telling lies, to ‘keep’ a friendship. A true friend is one who shares our joys, as well as assists us in times of trouble. A ‘fair-weather’ friend is one who wants to share the joy but abandons us when we are going through trouble. Actually, it is only during times of trouble, that we really need a ‘true’ friend the most. When a friend is in trouble, don’t give empty words like ‘Call me if we need anything’, when we mean nothing of the kind. A person who really means to help will start doing something to help, no matter how small, to demonstrate the quality of his friendship.
  • 22.  A Friendship usually involves some sacrifice. It is the very opposite of selfishness. There is no ‘By the way, can we do this ?’ We must go out of our way, to help a friend, if we genuinely feel that we should come out of his misfortunes. The friend will reciprocate the same kind of help to us, in our time of need. A ‘fair-weather’ friend is like an acquaintance, he remains as long as he is not needed for anything! It is just like a ‘friendship’ born out of some ulterior motive, which never lasts, once the ‘job’ is done. A true friendship lasts forever. Even one ‘true’ friend is better than having hundreds of ‘fair-weather’ friends, who are worthless in times of need.
  • 23. Always be an Empathic listener.   Empathy always differs from sympathy. Sympathy is when we agree to what the person is saying, even if it is wrong, just for the sake of friendship. It actually is a betrayal of friendship, since we are being dishonest. It can often become a crutch, on which your friend is leaning. we are harming him, more than helping him, by justifying his wrong deeds with sympathy. An empathic listener only tries to understand ‘logically’ what the person is trying to say, after which he may try to convince the person, diplomatically, that what he is doing may be wrong, and what should be the correct course of action, without hurting his sentiments.
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  Thank you for reading.